To think that it was only a couple of weeks ago that I posted another photo from this same location on Acomb’s Hobmoor in near-darkness. I’ve been walking this same route once a week for the past seven months and it hit me this week: I remember when I walked this in the heat of summer and the cool of Autumn and then when the sky was turning blacker and blacker each week in those November and December days.
I remember losing the sunlight bit by bit.
But now we are gaining the sunlight. Bit by bit. And with it, yes, I am starting to feel sentient again.
This was a photo I took at the beginning of 2019 at 5pm-ish where the sun had only just set enough to cause an amber skyline
Whilst we are far from the end of winter – by the months it must only be halfway through now – this light is starting to bring a Spring back into my step. I won’t say the seasonal depression has been swept away, for watery scenes, and darkened 5pms, and many layers dampen what I miss about summer, but with the end of January approaching, I’ve started to feel more myself again.
It’s a bizarre notion to look back upon, though: that I actually actively recall when the sky got darker, the worst time of the year for me, and now it’s gone. That darkening is finished and is even now *reversing*. No longer can I fear the act of walking in the dark (I’m not afraid of the dangerous people in the dark and I’m not *afraid* afraid of the dark. In fact, I have found it quite empowering to walk in, but the thought of walking in the dark is what makes me wobble). Now I can leave work at 5 and walk home in the sunlight that keeps me going for the evening.
Huzzah! This is what I have been waiting for all winter, especially in this, my second year of adulting – of working full time.
I have also started writing a short story, which I have been so far pleased with. I have added a new character, a past life in the world of my Alexander and Cathy. Watch this space, maybe!
Here’s to a happier 2019. I’m looking forward to February and the experiences for me it will bring.
One thought on “Made it Through the Dark”
It’s nice to hear that you’re feeling better. Good luck with your short story, Alexandrina.