Made it Through the Dark


To think that it was only a couple of weeks ago that I posted another photo from this same location on Acomb’s Hobmoor in near-darkness. I’ve been walking this same route once a week for the past seven months and it hit me this week: I remember when I walked this in the heat of summer and the cool of Autumn and then when the sky was turning blacker and blacker each week in those November and December days.
I remember losing the sunlight bit by bit.

But now we are gaining the sunlight. Bit by bit. And with it, yes, I am starting to feel sentient again.


This was a photo I took at the beginning of 2019 at 5pm-ish where the sun had only just set enough to cause an amber skyline

Whilst we are far from the end of winter – by the months it must only be halfway through now – this light is starting to bring a Spring back into my step. I won’t say the seasonal depression has been swept away, for watery scenes, and darkened 5pms, and many layers dampen what I miss about summer, but with the end of January approaching, I’ve started to feel more myself again.

It’s a bizarre notion to look back upon, though: that I actually actively recall when the sky got darker, the worst time of the year for me, and now it’s gone. That darkening is finished and is even now *reversing*. No longer can I fear the act of walking in the dark (I’m not afraid of the dangerous people in the dark and I’m not *afraid* afraid of the dark. In fact, I have found it quite empowering to walk in, but the thought of walking in the dark is what makes me wobble). Now I can leave work at 5 and walk home in the sunlight that keeps me going for the evening.

Huzzah! This is what I have been waiting for all winter, especially in this, my second year of adulting – of working full time.

I have also started writing a short story, which I have been so far pleased with. I have added a new character, a past life in the world of my Alexander and Cathy. Watch this space, maybe!

Here’s to a happier 2019. I’m looking forward to February and the experiences for me it will bring.

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